That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third season started, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.